That was Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley, and a Pirates film starring just those two would be as bad as the one starring just Johnny Depp. Sparrow was a lovable scamp as likely to hinder as to help our heroes, the flavor of the films and not the boring, wholesome meat. Sparrow isn’t the hero of the movies he’s more like the Marx Brothers, flitting around a spine created by Zeppo or another generic leading man. While Johnny Depp’s drunken pirate has always been the center of the films, the true stakes and momentum of the story always came from others. The film’s biggest mistake (besides existing) is making Jack Sparrow the main character. It’s a paint by numbers film, charmless and witless. I’m tempted to say that Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides is a terrible movie and end the review right there why should I expend any energy reviewing this film when no energy was expended in the making of it? Pirates 4 is the epitome of lazy filmmaking, a movie without a single clever moment, without the least bit of inspiration. Even Depp seems to be at a loss as to why the fuck he’s making this movie. And there are absolutely zero performances of any substantial value. The new characters aren’t particularly interesting, or all that different from the old characters from the first three films. It seems to be a completely standalone tale that doesn’t build on the previous films or give us intriguing new worlds to explore. There certainly isn’t a compelling story. I mean, I get that it’s to make a bunch of money for Disney, to add to Johnny Depp’s increasingly heavy wallet and to get the stench of Prince of Persia and The Sorcerer’s Apprentice off Jerry Bruckheimer, but I couldn’t figure out what the point of it was as a movie. I don’t know what the point of Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides is.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |